Wow! You played THAT?! Vol. 7 - The return of the unspeakable horror

Fair warning, i've mainly been working on the site instead of blogging so each game might not be as fresh in my mind as they could be and the order i talk about them might not be correct but what the heckle. There have been games i've played that i've felt haven't warranted a post because i didn't really find anything in them to talk about, but i'm trying to give everything i play a fair shot. Keep reading for guaranteed fun!

Arctic Eggs

URM PUT THE IMAGE HERE?

Can you fry an egg on top of Mount Everest?

Arctic Eggs is a thoroughly strange game. i got it as part of the Humble 'Indie Fears' bundle, and while i'd argue it isn't a horror game it's definitely got very weird vibes i could see people being unsettled by. It's set in a dystopic Antarctica, which is becoming the Arctic through polarity-reversal shenanigans, presumably because Arctic Eggs is a catchier title than Antarctic Eggs. Your character is left intentionally ambiguous, you're only told that you tried to escape and as a punishment have been stripped of all non-essential functions, explaining your lack of dialogue for the runtime of the game. You're left with enough control to cook eggs, being told that you might earn your freedom if you can feed enough people in the city and earn an audience with the saint of six stomachs. So you get to work, cooking eggs on both sides, as always.

You do this by placing eggs and other delights into your pan, swirling it with your mouse to generate heat and delicately flipping to cook the other side when ready. The game quickly complicates this simple task, by adding other ingredients that your customers will request alongside their eggs. These range from simple extras like bacon and sausages, to hazards like beer bottles and cockroaches. If you spill too much beer you'll have to start over, likewise if a cockroach jumps out of the pan. Combinations of hazards can make otherwise simple dishes tricky, as you have to generate heat by moving the pan but also keep track of the hazards, tipping the cockraoch back towards the centre of the pan and keeping the beer level. The most dangerous moment is the flip, thankfully it doesn't require much momentum to get the egg successfully flipped but it's definitely a delicate balancing act.

Accompanying these bizarre orders are the equally bizarre customers, who along with weird dystopic-futuristic bodies have some of the greatest weird one-liners i've experienced. The writing team nailed this aspect, there were so many times in my playthrough that i'd read a line and be caught off guard. This also serves to reinforce another aspect of Arctic Eggs, being that it's a weirdly cozy game. You're in a dystopia and things generally seem to be quite miserable, but everyone's sort of alright? It feels like you're in a world that's accepted that it's ending and is trying to make the most of a worsening situation, not going out with a bang but relaxing into their doom. There are armed guards dancing in the club, people discussing how to tell which is the left or right sock, even the cyborg prisoners are surprisingly OK. It's a peculiar vibe, and one i haven't seen a huge amount of elsewhere.

Arctic Eggs is yet another little indie game that knows what it wants to do and does it, without overstaying its welcome. The introduction of new mechanics is well-paced, keeping things interesting but not overwhelming. A lack of lives or any similar mechanic also greatly help, you're free to mess up as much as you want while preparing those eggs. And you will mess up, your control of the pan will be awful at first but you'll quickly get into the swing of things and cook up a delicious storm. i give Arctic Eggs 10 eggs out of 10.